


The Adventures of Detectipolt

by evilauthoroverlords



Category: Election - All Media Types, KFC - Fandom, Kentucky Fried Chicken - Fandom, Politics - Fandom, Presidents - Fandom
Genre: A very important and serious fic, Crack, guys please don't take this seriously, or judge our authoring abilities by this work, please this is just pure crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9863612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilauthoroverlords/pseuds/evilauthoroverlords
Summary: When Obama gets a call while on vacation, he has to drop everything and run to save a nation threatened by a serial killer. You won't BEEleive what the ex-president gets himself into.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Hello friends, tis us the Evil Author Overlords and this is our most serioius KFC fanfic yet out of all of our other KFC fanfics. Theis is not laughing matter and is very serious. We’ve been planning this story for a long time now and we are very pkleased that we can finally share it with the world. You’re welcome kids.
> 
> Here are the rules:
> 
> We can’t backspace (we can go back and yehadd stuff just not erase)  
> We have to stop writing at 7:36 pm 2/21/17 AD

******The Kentucky Fried Killer**

Mr. Potter was a fairly regular man, for all the KFC (kentucky fried killer) knew, and was just the meaty traget he was looking for. He was walking on the street, arms waving at his sides as he whistles a merry tunbe. He did not see the fat man in the wheel chair wheeling up behind him, smirking his greasy face while holding something in his hands. It looked kinda like chicken but (spoilers) it was not chiken. Nope, it was a gift card. But it was chicken related. Because it had a picutere of chicken on it.

Anyway, Mr. Potter walked pturned to see the she wheel chair man and was surprised that he did not see him coming earlier, because he did not move very fast., He smiled and started ot say hello when the man shoved the gift card into his hand and said, “it’s ifinger lickin good” with a swink. Mr. Potter looked down at the gift card with confusion, and felt himself smile when he saw that it was a gift card to Kentucky Fried Chicken, his favorite Kentucky restaurant that wserves chicken. For relavtively low prices really u should try it

Anyway, Mr. Potter thanked the mysterious fat man (he was in a wheelchair because he was rea;ll;y fat) and headed off to ther nearest KFC with a spring in his step.

“Wait up,” said the fat man, and Mr. Pottwer swivelled around.

Pr. Potter nodded and slowed his pace so that the man could wheel next to him.

“Do… do you like… jazz?” asked Mr. Potter, trying to mke smalltalk.

“Why yess i remember when jasz came about it was very fun but you should hurry friend the gift card expires today.”

“YOu just said to wait up for you.”

“Oops No matter, just run along, I’ll catch up with you. Don’t leave the store without me.” the man cackled evillit for some mysterious reason.

Mr. Potter’s srtomach growled and he sped up, able to see KFC up ahread by now. He broke into a sprint in his excitement.

He burst thropugh the KFC dorr and slammed the giftcard on the desk saying “Yay chicken!!1”

The cashier (who was Barry B. Benson) said “ok” and gave him chicken and Mr. Potter was ver happy. To finally have his chicken.

He bagan to eat the chicken and when he was done, he licked his fingers because it was finger lickin’ gud.

At that moment, The kentucky fried killer wheeled through the door and they made eye contact as Mr. Potter choicked as the arsinic started to take affect.

The KFC laughed as he watched Mr. Potter die on the floor, and then he heard sputtering form behind the counter. He wheeled over and found the cashier dead because they had touched the gift card and then stole some chicken because it was so finger lickin good. Now, he marvelled at their death; as their life was choicked out he smiled and. cackled

He began searched for something to carve them with.

Across the country, Obmama was relaxing on the beach. His shades were pulled over his eyes as he sighed, finally free of the presidency and the burderns that came with it.

Without even glancing up, hie pickend up his champagne glass and clinked it with Michelle’s.

His cell phone rang., playing the Bohemien Rapsedy.

Obama signed heavily and reached in his pocket to grab it. “Y’ellow?”

“President Obama, thank goodness. There’s-”

“It’s _ex-_ president…” said Obmama sadly. As he hung up, he turned to face Michelle and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted when his phone lit up, a different ringtone playing this time. A ringhtone he hadn’t heard in years.

It was the sound of cherries. Obama gasp.

“Honey, Michelle, where’s my supersuit?”

“YOur supa-suit? We’re on vacation?!”

“WHERE IS MY SUPAH SUIT??”

“I, uh, put it away.”

“Where?”:

“Why do you need to knowZ?”

OPbama stood.

‘“The public is in danger!”

“My _evening’s_ in danger! We’ve been planning this vacation for _eight years!_ ”

“Miche;lle, it’s for the greater good!”

“Greater good? I am your _wife!_ I am the greated _GUD_ you are _EWVAH_ gonna get.”

Eventual;ly, Mr. Obama managed to get his superhero disguise: a mask and an awesome dark red trenchcoat (he had pants too (and a tie (a blue tie)) (no shirt though)). He used his powers as an ex-president to call in a favor and got transported to the crime scene where the kentucky fried killer last striked.. “Thank goodness uoy’re here Mr. Pre- I mean, Detectipolt,” said the head coppo.

“You _better_ mean Detedctipolt” Obama muttered. Usuing heis powerrs, he was able to sense all the red from the blood stains in the room. (That is his power. Sensing the color red.) Obama rushed to the back  of the man lying on the floor, who the police had identified as Mr. potter./ Obama /i mean the Detectipolt noticed Mr. Potter was clutching something in his hand. Obama opened his paml and gasped., It was. . .

ARSENIC.

“He licked the arsenic. Indirectly.” The detectipolt told the head cop. The head cop nodded.

“ Alright. Do you have any ideas?”

The detectipolt said, “Lemme see nyour security footage.”

The copped whipped put some security videos. Obama narrowed his eyes at the video. It was in black and white. A very very fat man wheeled in with a less fgat man by his side. They approached the cashier and got some chicken, then Mr. Pootter ate the chicken, then he and the cashier died.; It wasn’t a pretty video. Obama inhaled deepply. He could smell throught screens, btw. He knew the fat man had a very ubncomfortable body odor. “He smells like birds.”

A policeman gasp. “According ot legend william howard taft smell like birds”

“It is him then”

“Also according to legend, William howard taft gained a year on his life according to how many humans he ate. No one thought he actually did but… look at that. That’s why He’s not eating the bee”

The video showed taft eating Mr. Potter but not Barry

“Byos” , said Obama, “ This is a case of Finger Lickin’ BAd”

“Indeed”

Obama rubbed his chin. “I got just the thing.”

They captured him with a bathtub, Taft’s archenemy.

Once again, the Detectipolt saved America.

Thanks, Obama.

FIN

(pls come back)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Did u guyses like our story??
> 
> Fluffy: Wow, that was ver hard.
> 
> Queueu: Yeah I wrote that ver good.
> 
> Fluffy: Me too. I was very gud at my work i should be hired professionally.
> 
> Queue: Yes.
> 
> Fluffy: … Do you think this will somehow end up on our resume?
> 
> Queue: I sincerely really really hope not so.
> 
> Fluffy: Hi future boss i wright gud.


End file.
